As public perception of PTSD becomes clearer and more inclusive, people are adapting to accommodate those who have it. However, symptoms and triggers vary from person to person, and it can take time to learn your loved ones’ unique needs. Once you do, you can help create and maintain a welcoming environment.
At P.S. Psychiatry in Doylestown and King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, Dr. Mitchell Kho and his team help patients who are suffering from various forms of PTSD identify their triggers and learn how to manage their condition. Here’s how you can help your loved one.
Understanding PTSD
The imagery of a shell-shocked veteran has become central to many people’s understanding of post-traumatic stress disorder. War is inherently traumatic, making it a common cause of PTSD among soldiers and civilians alike, but it’s not the only source of trauma in the world.
PTSD can also be rooted in violent crimes like rape, robbery, and domestic violence. Even being involved in an accident or witnessing something traumatic can traumatize someone. There’s also complex PTSD, which is caused by living under prolonged duress. This is common among abused and neglected children, women escaping violent marriages, and those battling homelessness.
5 ways to show support
Whether your loved one is a parent, sibling, friend, or romantic partner, these five tips can help you become a stronger pillar of support.
1. Don’t make it a talking point
Nobody wants to be reminded of the hard times in their life, especially if they were the source of trauma. If you know someone has PTSD, don’t bring it up during conversation unless prompted, and never ask what caused it; if they want you to know, they’ll tell you.
2. Ask about their tolerance, not their triggers
Being asked outright about your weaknesses is uncomfortable, and “triggers” can be deeply personal. Instead of asking outright what triggers someone, just ask what they have low tolerance for. This could be loud noises, crowding, alcohol, drugs, yelling, financial insecurity, or other sources of stress.
3. Tell them where they can find privacy
Sometimes, all a person needs is a moment to themselves. If you’re hosting an event or chaperoning someone with PTSD, locate two or three quiet places besides the bathroom where they can decompress if needed. These can become important places of respite in case they become overwhelmed.
4. Don’t take things personally
If the stress of a situation is causing someone to become irritable, irate, or even angry, you need to remain in control of your own emotions. You cannot control how someone will react, but you can control how you respond. Remaining calm and not taking offense can de-escalate the situation and build lasting trust between you and your loved one.
5. Be an empathetic listener
In order to overcome fear, it needs to be validated. When someone with post-traumatic stress opens up to you, make sure you’re being an empathetic listener. Don’t interrupt, don’t offer unsolicited advice, don’t minimize their experiences, and don’t dismiss their fears.
This means avoiding phrases like “It’s over now,” “It’s going to be okay,” and “Don’t be scared.” For people with PTSD, the situation feels immediate, and they have every reason to experience feelings of fear, stress, or grief. Try to empathize on a deeper level and ask if there are any ways you can help them feel more secure.
If your loved one is open to the idea of therapy and treatment, offer to attend a session with them for moral support.
